Trusting

I wouldn’t trust anyone to drive a car as good and safe as Dave, I wouldn’t trust anyone when it came to converting me into a non-vegetarian. Irony is trust is hard to achieve, because from day one you have been trained not to trust anyone but ourselves. I am sure if I knew how to drive a car I would trust myself more than Dave.The only skills you can count on are your own. Until one day when you leave your world and step into the real world you are surrounded by others. A team that you have to rely on but do you trust them?

I want to go away I don’t want to disappoint the people I love anymore. Dave says I am better than this (failure), he says I have been better than this. Dave wants me to get better be the person he knew I was. Be me!

What I think I should do to win, what I need to do to beat them is to stop fighting them. I need to be me…. I need to be me.

I don’t expect to win their (work, friends, home...) trust overnight which is why I am here saying they have mine. I apologise to push back on their help!

This is me making my comeback honouring the effort of my sister helping through my science, the belief my brother had in me, the unconditional love from my Mom, the pride that my Dad has in the values he has given me, Gaurav’s words of encouragement and strength as a friend, honouring the commitment, love, care and most of all non-stop believing in me, standing beside me - my husband.

(Its a beautiful morning sun, its beautiful as the feeling in my mind- It depicts the new me!)

Its Over!

We assume the very serious changes in our life happen slowly, over time. But it is not true. The big stuff happens in an instant.

I am constantly been told to manage perceptions. Well, I have changed overtime and don’t care about who thinks what. People are ambitious and lazy enough to buy another person’s perception – Deadly combo for not growing at all.


It might sound cruel, against all odds and against commonsense -everyone is for themselves. Yes, of course, you have your partner as close to you as your soul but what about people at work, friends, family, etc. Every one is in it for the kill.


Sometimes you don’t even know anything has changed, you think you are still you and your life is still your life. But you wake up one day and look around and you don’t recognise anything, not anything at all.


I keep telling myself there is no problem- If there is no problem then why can’t I just say it? I wait to heal, I wait, I wait and wait .. it’s the healing process..


We are all the same…


It hasn’t been easy around here and I feel like I am climbing a mountain with a burden on my back. I fail to take a few steps ahead, infact I have moved backwards, the burden seems be getting heavier with every effort I make. I feel like something is dying inside me.. I think its hope, its my zeal…

Its over its all over…